Crispy Tacos

Last night we had crispy tacos for dinner. Until Eilleen died I'd never made these at home. While at Lawry's, I had some product development responsibilities at the taco plant and ate enough of those things to last me forever..also enough of the Lawry's taco seasoning mix. Being a food snob I sneered at these Americanized tacos and only ate the genuine Mexican variety, wrapped in a soft tortilla. Eilleen and Jimmy loved the crisp tacos and ate them often - I'd harangue her a bit - she would still say taco with a pronounced as in stack instead of like in paw. For some reason, after she died, I'd feel an urge to eat these things - another haunting by Eilleen.

Her mispronounciations were hard for me to understand because she had a such a good musical ear. Yet, she couldn't seem to hear the difference in words like "taco". There were many of these and the butchering was mostly of foreign words. Even French words, she would Anglicize to the death. I wonder now if she had a hearing anomaly - some small translation thingie either in the ear or brain that didn't work with language.

Sometimes I catch myself babbling to the Hispanic workers, going a mile a minute about a concept they couldn't possibly have in their English experience. That blank look starts to appear and I realize what I've done. I imagine what it would be like to be transported to a foreign country and to try to master the language. Getting by is one thing but to express a concept or describe a feeling would likely be impossible. Fluency is necessary to achieve nuance.

I sat next to a Korean woman once on a plane and she told me she couldn't speak English well enough to express her thoughts, dreams and feelings. Sadly, she said that due to lack of use and lack of keeping up with language changes, she was barely able to do so in her native language. While living in Korea she had been something of a wordsmith and this loss was very painful for her and she felt isolated. Interestingly, she expressed this feeling to me very vividly and I could understand quite well how lonely she was.