Tuesday, June 08, 2021

Summer Bounty. Bah Humbug

I've had enough gardening to last a lifetime - at least for the rest of my lifetime. The planting process is a pleasure for me; I love to dig a hole and feel so optimistic when the plants, fresh from the nursery, snuggle into their new homes. The on-going maintenance is the part I don't like. After a frenzy of planting two years ago, I'm now stuck with pots, pots, pots packed with plants all panting for trimming, fertilizing and various kind of specialized care...the sissy grevallias don't like phosphorous and can't be watered during the day, only during the night. The dragon fruit likes sex and pollination only in the moonlight. Am I getting up at midnight to propagate these plants or water them? What was I thinking when I dragged them home?

My vegetable plantings last year were very unsatisfactory. I harvested a single pitiful fava bean after hovering over the damn plants for a month. I had a few tough, stringy Chinese long beans.  I can buy a handful of these beans (good looking ones) at the market for a buck. The gophers, ever present, always nibbling, drive me a bit bats. If I want a good fight, I can think of bigger fish to fry...wasting the energy battling gophers is the very epitome of the lost cause. All that remains of the vegetable garden is one giant fennel plant, mint (which you have to dynamite to get ride of), a few chives and a very persistent lemon grass plant. Fine with me.

I've killed plants by overcrowding them, overwatering them and underfeeding them. I've killed them by drowning, drying them up and letting various fungi overtake them. A plant murderess, I should turn myself in at Armstrong's and ask them to lock me up and let me out only to travel.

The future is bright. Fewer trees, succulents, artificial turf and a few, very few pots. Free at last.