Wednesday, September 05, 2018

Dude, that is totally not here.

I got this message after trying a link on the Orange County Weekly. I feel like a dinosaur, Dude. 

Crap, error 404

Dude, that is totally not here. Sorry. Maybe check back to the homepage and see if you can find it. Or, you can try the Google search box below.


Sofia and the Glass Frogs 1.


A short story, a work in progress, inspired by the tales of my Guatemalan friend Lina.

Bus

Looking through the mud-splattered window, out over the roadside and straight down into a chasm swirling with mist, I felt like I was in a helicopter, not a Guatemalan bus. Just over the edge, trees clung to steep slopes. When the air cleared for a moment, I could see forests of giant ferns that defined this terrain as highlands rainforest.
Why had I done this to myself? On the map, the ninety-four-mile road from Guatemala City to San Pedro Soloma looked like someone with Parkinson’s disease had drawn it. I knew torrential rainfall in the region wrecked the roads year round. but I never dreamed it could be this bad. As fast as the local men repaired the wash-outs and potholes, they re-appeared. We’d hit spots where the road felt greasy under the wheels and the bus slipped and fishtailed. Our skilled driver got the vehicle under control and none of the passengers seemed alarmed—only me with a white-knuckle grip on the handle in front of my seat.
When my mother was a teen, she took this bus monthly to Guatemala City with her own mother. She described the ride as an adventure and never complained about the road or the hard seats or the gut-wrenching turns. Mother and I planned to do this trip together but that was not to be.
I looked at my watch. Four o’clock. I’d been in the seat, stomach churning, for nine excruciating hours. We were traveling at an average ten miles an hour on the narrow road through switchback after switchback.
Every seat was full. I guessed people were returning from work or shopping. They’d jammed the overhead bins; a pile of boxes and bags covered half the back seat. On top of the heap, lashed together, lay two full-sized puppets, Gigantes, the kind Guatemalans wear balanced on their heads and shoulders during festivals. One puppet face, looking out at the passengers, had huge eyes and a mouth pursed in a kiss. The other was sleepy-eyed with an open mouth full of Chiclet teeth and a lurid pink tongue. When animated, riding on human shoulders, the puppets would be entertaining——I’d seen them in festivals back home. Here, bound and still, they looked like kidnap victims putting on happy faces to hide their terror.   
The odor of wet wool, unwashed bodies, tortillas and piss hung in the humid air. Most of us had eaten too many beans at the last rest stop and a cloud of gassy farts wafted through the bus. “Holy Smoke,” I thought to myself after inhaling a lungful of concentrated fumes, “Is it the altitude or are we rotting inside?”
The man in the seat in front of me had taken off his reeking boots which walked themselves, footless, from under his seat and ended up in front of mine. I’d resisted holding a scarf up to my face, like a sissy American, but the stinking boots were too much. I cursed under my breath and toed them back under his seat, out of my sight.
With the perfumed scarf under my nose, I relaxed between hair-pin turns, keeping my eyes on a red baseball cap four seats ahead to stabilize my view and keep my stomach in place. My elderly seatmate snored and drooled, her head snapping back and forth as we zig-zagged up the mountain. She wore a clutch of metal religious icons on chains clanking around her shrunken neck. On every sharp turn, the largest of them, Jesus crucified, swung over and banged against my arm. The irony was delicious. After a long on and off struggle with faith I’d recently given up on Christianity. Now, Jesus was tapping me on the shoulder.
A few elderly passengers wore ethnic scarves around their shoulders or carried bags made of the famous Guat hand-woven cloth. My mother owned several skirts and shawls woven with the typical bright colors and patterns——diamonds and stripes of periwinkle, orange, red, purple, yellow and green. When I was a toddler, she taught me the names of the colors in Spanish as we looked at the fabrics together: amarillo, azul, roja, verde, rosado, violeta. At eight or nine, I’d sneak into her closet and pull out the clothes to play pretend with.
“Sofia. Put those back. Muy preciosos from Guatemala. Not toys.”
One woman wore a voluminous woven skirt of every color. Her small body stuck out the middle; she looked like a doll floating on a fabric sea. At a twenty-minute stop, one of fifteen, I watched her gather up the whole shebang and fold it in front to maneuver down the bus aisle and out. Once on the ground, she shook it and the monster swirled back into shape. Had she been at a festival? I guessed she was related to the kidnapped Gigantes. As I couldn’t read while in motion and was tired of listening to music, I passed the time imagining the lives of my fellow passengers and why they were taking this long and difficult bus ride.  
Loneliness washed over me. While the worst of the grief at my mother’s death last year had passed, I was incomplete without her. I’d lived away from home for years, but still, at thirty-five years old, I felt like an orphaned child.  After the funeral, some people trying to be of comfort, said my mother was lucky to have died in a car crash returning from her chemo treatment. Lucky? I didn’t think so. Although I was happy she didn’t suffer more and longer with cancer, I cherished every second with her and felt cheated that a few precious months were denied us.
Half the passengers were unconscious as I speculated about them. While they slept, I looked them over searching for clues in my game of “Who’s on the bus?” Did they wonder about me? Or was it obvious I was just another Sofia pilgrim?
I rubbed the seasickness band on my wrist hoping after each torturous turn I wouldn’t throw up. I’d rehearsed that scenario should it happen.
“Alto, Alto,” I’d yell and rush to the door, clearing the stairs before I tossed my cookies. “Please, Sofia,” I thought. “Get me to Soloma in one piece.”



Sunday, August 26, 2018

Chin Chin Chinese Chicken Salad Recipe

While making a Chinese Chicken Salad, the dressing recipe, which I thought was permanently etched in my brain, was suddenly missing a few items. Did I use rice vinegar? And was there soy sauce? I thought I could check the recipe online but I couldn't find it. I dug out my old binder full of recipes from cooking lessons I took years ago at Ma Cuisine, the cooking school at Ma Maison. The salad was a favorite at the popular restaurant Chin Chin.

The binder full of recipes brought on a wave of nostalgia. Many of the celebrity chefs of those days are long gone from the current food scene: Jean Francois Meteigner of L'Orangerie, Ed La Dou of Pizza fame, Patrick Terrail who owned Ma Maison. 

The Ma Maison cooking school was conducted in a kind of tent affair next to the restaurant. The whole place was a hodge-podge of mismatched furniture and kitschy decoration. In its hey-day, the restaurant had a celebrity list that was mind-boggling. One of the classes I took was taught by Martha Stewart, who was just gaining popularity. She left mid-class to take a phone call and apologized when she returned, saying it had been Jackie Kennedy and she didn't want to keep her waiting. Things have changed for Martha. I noticed she has a show with Snoop Dog. Lots of glitter and oodles of bad taste.
My home mortgage payment at the time was $148.00 a month. I guess that puts these prices into perspective. We thought the menu was pretty standard French for the time. The raclette and the fondue were hard to find then and I imagine hard to find now. Well, maybe not the fondue.

At another class taught by Roy Yamaguchi, Truman Capote sat in on the side, drinking one martini? after another. I just finished his classic coming-of-age story, The Grass Harp.

Here's the recipe. The creator of Chin Chin, Bob Mandler, taught the Ma Cuisine class so the following recipe is authentic. Meanwhile the Mandlers are opening something new.

My Little Dumpling is the work of Robert and Anthony Mandler, a father-son duo with plenty of experience in the restaurant business. The former founded the mega-popular upscale Chinese restaurant chain Chin Chin way back in 1983, envisioning the place as a see-and-be-seen spot for classic New York City-style Chinese food. Now the pair is keen to replicate the model in new ways, offering dumplings and a few other staples as well as beer and wine. This will be a full-service restaurant, with decor and ambiance provided by son Anthony Mandler.



Chin Chin Classic Shredded Chicken Salad

Salad Ingredients
 4 ozs. roasted chicken breasts (approximately 2 half-breasts) slivered
1/2 cup slivered green onion
2 cups shredded iceberg lettuce
1 cup shredded carrot
1/2 cup slivered toasted almonds
1 1/2 cups deep fried wonton skin strips
3 cups deep-fried rice stix 

Dressing (makes 9 ozs.)
1 tsp. minced fresh ginger
1/4 cup coarsely chopped preserved red ginger
2 T syrup from preserved red ginger
2 T minced green onion
2 T sesame oil
6 T red wine vinegar
1/2 tsp sugar
4 T light soy sauce
1/2 tsp. chili paste

Combine salad ingredients except wontons, rice stix and nuts and toss well. Add rice stix and nuts and fold in. Combine dressing ingredients. Pour a couple of ounces over the salad. Add wontons to the top. 

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Coming up: The Loggione

"What's on at La Scala?" Richard asked.
"Ali Baba and the Forty Robbers."
"What the hell is that?
"Cherubini's longest opera and his last."
"Cherubini?"
"Luigi Cherubini—the German composer."
"What??"
"Just kidding," I said. "I guess they've run out of operas by Verdi and Mozart and Handel and Puccini. I looked it up on Wiki. The opera premiered in 1833 and was "not successful." Translation: it bombed. And La Scala did it again in 1963. Negative reviews."
"Just our luck to be in Milan when they're dredging it up again," he said.
"It's like a vampire. That opera should have died. But tickets are selling well anyway. My guess is the scalpers buy them up, no matter what, and sell to tourists like us. Why else do you think they'd schedule something like this opera during tourist season. No matter what they do, the tickets will sell."
"Maybe it's like Springtime for Hitler, designed to lose. Or to showcase something you couldn't do in any other opera? How much are the tickets?"
"Good ones, which aren't very good anyway, would cost 500 Euro for two."
"Let's skip it," Richard said.

From Wikipedia:

Performance history of Ali Baba. 

It was premiered in Paris on 22 July 1833. It was not successful, with Hector Berlioz calling it "one of the feeblest things Cherubini ever wrote."[2] It ran for five performances.[1] Felix Mendelssohn discussed the opera in his letter of 25 December 1834 to Ignaz Moscheles, stating, that Cherubini was so craven to serve the new style en vogue in Paris at that time.
It was resurrected by La Scala in 1963 but again faced negative reviews.[2] A live recording was made and was subsequently issued.
The overture has found a place in the concert repertoire for symphony orchestras.

******************************************************************************
     Last time I was in Milan, my ex and I bought tickets from a scalper on the street who showed the location to us on the seating chart. We knew nothing about La Scala but thought they looked OK. I can't remember what we paid—a lot. The opera was Linda di Chamounix. Haven't heard of it? Neither had we. It was colorful; the singing was great. 
     But the seats were the most uncomfortable I've experienced since I flew to Europe on a Freddie Laker charter forty-five years ago. I'd almost forgotten Sir Freddie. Looking him up, it seems he was a trailblazer of the concept of economical air travel. The seats were jammed into that plane, possibly more jammed than they are today. I remember vividly when the woman in front of me put her seat back and her blonde head was in my lap. She rolled her eyes up and said, "Sorry, but.." In defense, I had to push mine back. The woman behind me groaned and pushed hers. On and on the groans continued as we strangers put our seats back and all realized the hell we were in for the next nine or eleven hours, whatever the time was. It seemed interminable. All we had to ease the pain with was alcohol—the whole plane was half-drunk so the line-up for the bathrooms filled the aisles. 

Freddie Laker left British United in 1965 and formed his own Laker Airways, in 1966, initially operating charter flights with a pair of turboprop planes acquired second-hand from British Overseas Airways Corporation (BOAC). The livery was a mixture of black and red with a bold LAKER logo on the tailplane. He offered a new, revolutionary concept of economic air travel requiring passengers to purchase their tickets on the day of travel as well as to buy their own food. These flights were operated by Laker Airways and marketed under the Skytrain trademark. 

     Our La Scala seats were separated by a pillar that obstructed most of my ex's view of a sliver of the stage. We changed seats at intermission so I had the worst view for the second half. We kicked ourselves thinking we'd been had by the scalper. I've learned since that most of the seats in the hall range from poor to horrible. 
     The opera was long—three hours or more, and it was hot, sweat running-down-your-face hot. We could see only a little piece of the stage, the left upper third. Mostly, we looked at the curtain and the set unless there was a bit of unorthodox stage direction that called for one of the cast to drift way, way out of the center sight-line into our view.
     "Hey, I see someone! Something must have gone wrong," my ex whispered. I started to laugh and
couldn't stop. I had to leave, climbing over people, apologizing and laughing at the same time. So my ex started to laugh and he couldn't stop either. We both ended up in the hallway laughing that weird laugh when you're out of control and nothing will do until you just laugh it out. We must have looked insane.
     Thanks to modern technology, now you can see the view (non-view) from your prospective seat on one of those great camera things on the La Scala website. I worked my way through the seats starting with the most expensive available, through to the cheapest. As far as I could see (pardon the pun) there are few decent seats in the whole theater.






     So, how to have a La Scala experience with minimal discomfort? I decided I'd like to buy stand-up room in the loggione for forty euro each. Richard isn't enthusiastic so far. We can buy space at the last minute and if we get bored or uncomfortable, we can just leave. We might even get to boo, something I don't think I've ever done, even when we saw Jerry Lee Lewis playing Iago in the rock version of Othello. And that's something. 

"The theatre has more than 3000 seats organized into 678 pit-stalls, arranged in six tiers of boxes above which is the 'loggione' or two galleries. The loggione is typically crowded with the most critical of customers, who can be ecstatic or merciless towards singers. Even though these are the cheap seats, the most passionate opera fans stand back here and cheer or boo. 
La Scala's loggione is considered a baptism of fire in the opera world, and fiascos are long remembered. In 2006, tenor Roberto Alagna (pictured) was booed off the stage during a performance of Verdi's Aïda, forcing his understudy quickly to replace him mid-scene without time to change into a costume."







Wednesday, August 01, 2018

Stewed Donkey

We're getting ready to spend a month in Florence. I've been doing a little menu research whetting the appetite. After reading a short story in The New Yorker about a couple dealing with an emergency, I imagined a similar couple traveling together. Although this isn't biographical, I do proofread menus and cackle over errors. The rest of it is imagination.


Stewed Donkey

“Stewed donkey,” she read from the menu.
“Really?” he said, looking at her from over his reading glasses. He waited for the punch line, but she said nothing.
He flipped through the pages scanning the small print listing hundreds of Tuscan dishes.
“Where are you looking?” she asked. “You’re on the dessert page. What are you thinking—stewed donkey and gelato?”
“Ah, I found it —a regional specialty. Okay, that explains it.”
“Explains it? Maybe, but that copy sure doesn’t sell. It’d be more appetizing listed as braised donkey,” she said grinning, “As in bray-sed donkey.” She snorted an unexpectedly loud hee-haw. He cringed, looking around to see if anyone else had heard.  
He hoped that was her final cynical remark over this meal. After their last anniversary trip to Russia he’d asked her to stop criticizing and picking apart every menu. Before each meal, she’d find and correct all the spelling mistakes, expecting him to react to her sarcastic remarks. An editor, she corrected text relentlessly, no matter where it appeared.
“I can’t help it, Jerry. The words jump off the page at me.”
The constant stream of negativity, albeit funny, was wearing him down. As the vacation dragged on from Milan to Florence to Palermo, the Costco-sized bottle of Tums he’d packed was dwindling. His occasional indigestion had morphed into full-time gastritis and unlike most tourists in Italy, he was losing weight. As he sat listening to her, he could feel the lining of his stomach slowly dissolving. He watched her twirl a lock of her blond hair in that compulsive way he found so juvenile.
Why rip everything apart? He felt they should appreciate that restaurant owners attempted to translate for their English-speaking guests. Yes, chicken chest instead of chicken breast was hilarious, but it was only one word. She put too much importance on little things. These were menus— not the declaration of independence or instructions for opening a parachute. In his opinion, she jumped on details to gratify her own ego.   
He thought of himself as taking a broader view of the world.
“How good would you be at translating English menus, to...say, Chinese? Cut these folks a little slack,” he said. “And after all, it really is donkey they eat. You think it’s unappetizing but others might say it sounds delicious.”
“Hah! Look around, Jerry. Most of the people in here are tourists. For them, don’t you agree they could make it sound a little better? It’s just so damn half-assed.” She grinned, waiting for his reaction to her pun. “I say, dress it up. How about Ass braised with fennel and figs, drizzled with a red wine reduction and served with stuffed zucchini blossoms? They’d get thirty-five Euro a pop instead of seventeen.” She looked smug. He didn’t respond.
“And about translating into Russian?” She scratched her head. “That reminds me of that place in Moscow—you remember— they translated “assorted ice cream flavors” as Ice cream in the ass. As I recall you laughed hard at that one. It’d be the perfect dessert to follow bray-sed donkey,” she said. For weeks after their return from Russia, she looked at ice cream menus and muttered—”no ice cream in the ass?” He’d despaired that she’d ever quit.
When they first met, he’d found her witty and amusing. But over the years this menu thing had worn thin. So thin he’d considered making an excuse to skip the trip and stay home. Right now, he thought, I’d be calm—sitting in the kitchen eating Campbell’s soup and microwaved macaroni and cheese. The idea of eating alone usually snapped him back to reality and made him thankful for his wife. But at this moment, the solitude was attractive. Alone, he wouldn’t be popping Tums and squirming with embarrassment. He’d have the cats for company. They purred when they saw the copy on the cat-food cans.  
He’d talked to his friend Rod about his feelings.
“Jerry,” Rod said. “Surely you know this happens to all couples. The very thing that attracts you at first ends up repelling you as time passes. The novelty wears off! Hang in there. She’s wicked funny and you’ll find joy with her again.”  
The joy, as promised, hadn’t returned. Instead, he’d grown less and less tolerant and could swear she was becoming more abrasive. She was sitting with one foot tucked underneath her again—she knew that annoyed him. Any minute now, she’d take out that horrible silver toothpick and start poking around her molars. In public! Once, he’d suggested she cover her mouth in the European way, as she picked and prodded herself. She’d erupted in anger—accused him of being effete and prissy.
He glared at her as she bent over the menu hunting for errors and imagined her sitting on the john in a cloud of her own farts, searching for typos on the toilet paper labels. Sharing a bathroom with her in Europe without the civilizing benefit of exhaust fans had killed the last scrap of romantic interest he felt for her. He dreaded what was coming later. She'd order the donkey, of course, so she could dine out on the story. What havoc would the equine meat cause in her mean-spirited digestive tract? Perhaps the donkey would get his revenge. He gestured to the waiter for more wine.

Hee haw, he thought. It would be a long and noisy night at the Hilton.










Sunday, July 29, 2018

One of those weeks!

I woke up this morning smelling bacon and wondered why Richard was up, making breakfast so early. The aroma was from the smoke from yesterday's fire lingering in the air. Our wonderful firefighters appear to have the blaze under control although people are still evacuated and some of the roads closed. People who have horses and other large animals have the worst of the evacuations having to trailer panicky animals and move them (with food) to temporary shelters. The electricity was off for a few hours and that was our only inconvenience although I'm still shaking off adrenalin. My anxiety goes through the roof when fire is nearby having had several near misses. At last report, the fire is sixty percent contained and has burned three hundred and sixty-five acres according to the Facebook page called Brush Fire Partyline/San Diego North County, which provides a ton of information.
Photo from our local paper, The Village News

As Richard was in Fallbrook when the electricity was turned off he couldn't get back in through our gates. I finally learned how to open them in case of power failure. The incident served as a reminder to restock the emergency boxes...with insurance documents, a copy of our address book, spare credit cards, memorabilia...and have them ready to go when we're next evacuated. 

It's been one of those weeks you hope never happens. My car failed to start when I was parked in the shopping center lot which has a seven-foot clearance. It's very difficult to get towed out of such a lot. After two days on and off (waiting for AAA to get a towing vehicle for low clearance) we were able to get the car going with the help of a kind man from BMW who drove to the car with us and got it going. No charge. They performed an all-points inspection on it, washed it, did some recall wiring work and returned the spanking clean vehicle to me. No charge. 

And the worst thing that happened. A friend in Canada who's been suffering with ALS for two years, died, at the time of her choice, Saturday morning. Even though we knew her death was imminent and even though we knew of her plan to check out when she'd had enough, it was unsettling. She's the first person I know to have chosen her exit in this way — it's called MAiD (medical assistance in dying) in Canada. She was a lovely person, generous and talented.

I met her in HoChiMinhCity at 1:00 a.m. many years ago when I arrived there to do a food tour with her company, Lemongrass Tours. I couldn't believe she came to the airport so late to meet me! Who does that?? She was thoughtful and kind. It's hard to believe she's gone. RIP Annie.

"A Parable of Immortality"
by Henry Van Dyke

I am standing upon the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze
and starts for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength,
and I stand and watch until at last she hangs
like a speck of white cloud
just where the sea and sky come down to mingle with each other.
Then someone at my side says,
“There she goes!”
Gone where?
Gone from my sight . . . that is all.
She is just as large in mast and hull and spar
as she was when she left my side
and just as able to bear her load of living freight
to the place of destination.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her.
And just at the moment
when someone at my side says,
“There she goes!”
there are other eyes watching her coming . . .
and other voices ready to take up the glad shout . . .
“Here she comes!”

Facebook Post

There's a great Facebook page for people with acoustic neuromas—Acoustic Neuroma Friends. It's like a never-ending twenty-four hour a day support group where you can find answers to all kinds of tumor-related questions. One thing that's quickly revealed by reading the posts is that everyone reacts to this situation differently and all recoveries are different—some people cope incredibly well, others are left devastated for the rest of their lives. 

I liked this very positive post by Kevin Watts which speaks volumes about having such a tumor when you're young. What a recovery he's had! In a later post, he states that he's back to music and has adapted to his SSD. 







Post by Kevin Watts
For the newly diagnosed:
Hi all, I thought I’d take a moment to share my story and philosophy with you, ESPECIALLY for the benefit of those of you who have just been diagnosed, are scared and are wondering what the road forward looks like.
The top picture was taken two days after my surgery in Dec ‘16 to remove a 4.2 cm AN. I was scared, sad, and contemplating my new normal. Single sided deafness, paralyzed face, dry eye, persistent headache and the inability to walk. All alone in my hospital ward, I did not know how I would end up. It was a rough time.
Fast forward to 18 months later, the bottom pic, and I want you to know that you get better. And IT gets better. I’ve never been stronger, fitter and maybe even happier. They say that the difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do. In my case, I decided to meet my highest suffering with my highest hope. I trained my body daily and my mind as often as possible, to deal with my new normal. I sought out the right books and podcasts, tried to eat the right foods, found the right trainers and promised myself to never force my body to ‘recover’ again. Instead, lesson learned, I was going to shift to the front foot this time.
These are the things that worked for me, and I know that my condition, situation, and experience may be vastly different to yours and others; but the point remains - I got through it, and so did others, and so will you.

We have been dealt a strange hand, those of us with these rare and exacting tumours. There is irony in it, as even in the greatest of horrors, irony is seldom absent. As for me - I think of the scorching irony of life to take my hearing, being a musician and a former pilot. It is a reminder of the paradox of life in general. How strong and fragile it is at the same time. How cruel but rewarding at the same time. And because it is both, we get to choose which of those two meanings we want to ascribe to the irony. And that’s the greatest lesson I learned in all of this.

*******************************************************************************************
I 

I wish I could post before and after pictures of myself showing an amazing recovery like Kevins. Mine has been pretty good, much better than many others treated by radiation but the older you are at diagnosis, the longer the recovery, if at all. The biggest challenge for me—the most difficult to cope with has been single sided hearing. My new earrings may help. I wear the NO earring on my left side and the YES earring on the right side.