Thursday, July 15, 2010

Lurching toward lunch

The hostess scrutinized me with a long hard look as I lurched in the restaurant door, correcting my trajectory just enough to miss crashing into the check-in podium. As she led me tottering along to the table I got a couple of curious glances. Once seated, I took off my glasses...OMG I still had on the "car only" bashed and battered pair I try to remember never to wear in public. Pranged and twisted, lenses scratched and barely hanging together, these glasses work for driving but they look like a joke! Sitting askew on my face they authenticate my current drunk bag-lady look.

For a fleeting moment, I thought perhaps the glances might have been admiring ones aimed at my butt, the subject of some recent attention (goslings on the rear) by fellow book club members*. Of course, I've lived long enough to know better. Apparently the neural connection all of us jack-asses have in common - the one which clouds over actual facts with unreliable information (known world-wide as having one's head up one's butt) is still operational.

Despite the delusions, lunch was good.

*A short story but better told elsewhere. 


  1. i'm having glasses problems too. One pair is completely broken so I'm wearing the pair that is way too big for me. Every time I bend over or lean down my glasses fall off. Then I have to scramble to find them. Why-oh-why don't I go and get some new glasses?

  2. Oh yes....I forgot the falling off part. Mine do too. Next time there's an attractive sale at Wal Mart...I think they discount glasses before school starts up again.